Good news everyone! Nintendo Land has received an update announcement! You can read more about it here.
Sorry for that, but I didn’t pull a single prank all day yesterday and I figured it’s close enough to April 1st for one last gag. If you’re still reading, congratulations! You have passed the test, and can now read all about what I would want from a real Nintendo Land update.
Update to the Internet!
Yeah, the idea has been tossed around quite a bit that the popular Wii U launch title Nintendo Land should receive an update. The main argument behind this is that the game should add online play for the multiplayer games. I think this is a fantastic idea for some of the games, but not so much for others.
Metroid Blast I could play for hours online. Honestly, I want to see more where that came from. The shooting mechanics, the aiming, going into morph ball mode, different levels, enemies, ground vs air, air vs ground, all of those things just fit together perfectly. If multiplayer like this isn’t incorporated in Nintendo’s future, I’m going to cry. I’d buy a standalone Metroid Blast game for just more levels and maybe a few more weapon choices.
Another one that might work decently online is The Legend of Zelda: Battle Quest. That one doesn’t require as much co-operation with the people around you, and it’s still more fun with others. Might be a good idea to allow there to be more than one archer though, as everyone with a Wii U has a gamepad, but not all of them are required to have motion plus controllers. If that ratio could be controlled and figured out, I could see it doing well online.
The ones that I personally don’t see working out as well are the co-operative games where you’re either chasing or being chased. I suppose I could see it happening if there was use of the gamepad microphone though. If this future update were to happen, I wouldn’t hold my breath though. Nintendo’s pretty notorious for wanting you to have little to no contact with those you interact with online. So for this example, I’m just going to assume there’s no mic system in place.
All of these attractions require working together to call out where the player with the gamepad is, whether chasing or being chased. I have my doubts about how well these games would work without screaming and yelling people in the same room as you. First, it would lose the fun factor of having your friends all gathered around the TV and getting super into the game like the good ol’ days. Second, I think they’d be boring. The games are phenomenal when played how they’re meant, but have you ever tried playing Mario Chase with just two people and two yoshi bots? That’s pretty much how I imagine the game would work online. Two lifeless drones besides yourself chanting out prerecorded phrases. I could be completely wrong though. Putting these games online could be really fun, but I guess I’d just have to play it to believe it.
Nintendo Land 2: Tycoon
I thought of that name because Nintendo Land is a game about a theme park, and so is Roller Coaster Tycoon. Then I got to thinking about how those two could share similarities. Then I got excited. Then I got a bagel (I hadn’t eaten yet today). Then I got more excited.
First of all, a Nintendo Land sequel needs more games and more multiplayer options. Not too many people I know play Nintendo Land by themselves. It’s a party game. It’s one that’s executed beautifully, but a party game nonetheless. Party games are meant to be played in groups of people, and having all those single player games just kills the mojo sometimes. Online play that addresses the issues above would be welcome as well.
Now to the part I’m excited about. What if there was a selection of games to choose from, and you had a little plot of land in a Nintendo dream zone (or whatever they come up with) that you can populate with minigames of your choosing? Other miis from Miiverse could enter your park and try out the games you have there, kind of inspired by how they just walk around your plaza aimlessly in today’s Nintendo Land. The more you build and expand your park, the more miis come and the more money you get. The more money you get means unlocking more games, attractions, and decorations for your park. Meanwhile, Monita is floating above your park, laughing maniacally at all the dough you’re making her. At long last, she can upgrade to some legs!
But then here’s the cooler part: other people can visit your park and play through a little set of three or so attractions you have set up, and then compare their score with others who have tried your park. You can leave your park open to friends, anyone online, or just you. Whoever you want it shared with is who it gets shared with. Also, they would be able to challenge you to multiplayer games if they so wished.
Another fun idea would be being able to make custom maps for Metroid Blast or what have you using a stage editor. Those stages could then be available for others to use when visiting your theme park, and downloadable if they like the stage. This would fix my problem of there not being enough stages for games like Animal Crossing: Sweet Day (Come on Nintendo, it’s like the best game and it only has two stages!).
So what do you think of my take on what the next Nintendo Land should be like? I’d be super pumped for it if these features were announced. I’m kind of proud of myself for coming up with it! Maybe I should try to snag a job at Nintendo… Let me know what you thought below!
Zorpix and Miiverse
To apologize for that April Fools joke at the beginning of this article, I’ve decided to give you a treat. Every single picture post I’ve made in the Nintendo Land community! Well, most of them. Either way, enjoy! The game for all of these is Nintendo Land, so I’m not going to be listing the title for each picture. Please understand!
Post Text: My mom and dad just happened to be next to each other XD
I was about to go a-flying on my next big adventure, and I guess my parents got a bit worried. Both of them stopped by to wish me well! It was just kinda funny to see it put them together. This game seems to know who out of my miis is dating or married… it always puts couples together for me!
Post Text: OH DANG OH DANG OH DANG OH DAAAAAAAAAANG!!!!
So, in Metroid Blast, you get to fight both Ridleys… at the same time… It is AWFUL. Me and my friend spent almost a whole night trying to beat them, and after about an hour of trying this mission alone, we finally did it. If you’re going to attempt this, remember to stay hidden as often as possible, and dodge, dodge, dodge!
Post Text: OM NOM NOM! It’s the candyphant!
I… I just love this game. This elephant whose head is near bursting is one of the many reasons why. It’s just so hilarious to watch them waddle around with heads full of candy.
Post Text: EAT IT, KRAID!!
This is how you get one of the stamps in the Metroid Blast attraction. You have to get inside Kraid’s belly and shoot him from in there. How you get in there I’ll keep a secret, but I will say that you need someone in a ship as well as someone on the ground to do it…
Post Text: Why does the gunship have VGA ports? XD
Just something fun I noticed. The gunship has VGA ports on its side. I think they’re in the correct order too! Someone can help correct me on that if I’m wrong… I wonder how the gunship displays video? Maybe it’s for in flight movies. Those ports are pretty large though… Maybe I was on the right track with my conspiracy theory a few weeks ago. Everything in the Nintendo world is tiny!
Post Text: Reminds me of claptrap from Borderlands 2. If I sound excited, that’s just my default tone of voice!
This just reminded me of Claptrap from the opening of Borderlands 2. I quoted him in the post text. I wonder who inspired who… Okay, they probably both thought of it on their own, but I still think both characters were entertaining when making jokes like this.
Post Text: LET IT RAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!!!
For the last post, nothing feels better than watching your hard earned coins go sailing off into the abyss trying to fill the one hole you hadn’t been able to get just yet. Nintendo Land Plinko is a bit more costly than the Price is Right version though…
Thank you all for reading this far, and please suggest more topics in the future! If you do happen to have any suggestions for next week’s topic, any questions about the content I wrote, or just wanna say hey, feel free to sound off below! If you really feel inclined, you can mosey on over to my Twitter, Facebook, or Miiverse account. Please don’t feel offended if I don’t respond to friend requests on the Wii U, as I reserve that for people I actually know in real life (usually…). I’ll gladly follow back though!
I’m also sad to announce that this will be the last Zorpix Den I ever write…
Alright, NOW I’m done with the silly pranks.